After the romantic love fades then we are left with someone in our life, but no infatuation to cover their faults. This is part of a healthy relationship. When this happens the people are forced into the next stage of love.
Power Struggle
Each partner in this stage starts to mold the other into their ideal mate. They want to regain what they've lost. This is a normal part of the romance process. Many couples bicker and fight in this stage. This is also the stage where the abuse starts. This may also become the part where the 'cold war' starts.
This stage does the exact opposite of what the couple wants. Instead of regaining what was lost, the couple shows each other exactly who they really are. Two things will happen.
Couple A will work through this. They will compromise and help fulfill the other's needs.
Couple B will become more aggressive. They may do things to hurt the other person. They may feel betrayed. They will fight back. They may continue this stage for the rest of their marriage, or they may divorce.
The weapon of choice is not always words and anger. This couple may use guilt, blame, and emotional abuse to control the other person.
Couple C enters into a passive aggressive state where they pretend that everything is okay. The anger is burried, the pain and suffering remains.
Moving On
The feelings experienced in the earlier relationship can be regained, but only by moving forward to unconditional acceptance and committment. Let go of your demands and accept the other person as they are. After all, they were your soul mate, the one and only, the true love of your life.
It’s a normal growth phaze to fall out of romantic and passionate love and to endure conflict. Conflict and growth are healthy parts of a relationship. Without conflict, we do not grow as people. Seeing the world through another person's eyes, their Point Of View, helps us see our own faults, grow as a person, and builds understanding.
Quitting
Many people decide they made a mistake and divorce. The important thing to remember is that your next 'soul mate' will be just like this person. You will find the same type of person to be your soul mate. There will be the same falling out. The same conflict.
Quitting in a relationship should only be considered a 'good thing' if the other person becomes abusive, or feel they have the right to punish people who don't give them their own way.
Power Struggle
Each partner in this stage starts to mold the other into their ideal mate. They want to regain what they've lost. This is a normal part of the romance process. Many couples bicker and fight in this stage. This is also the stage where the abuse starts. This may also become the part where the 'cold war' starts.
This stage does the exact opposite of what the couple wants. Instead of regaining what was lost, the couple shows each other exactly who they really are. Two things will happen.
Couple A will work through this. They will compromise and help fulfill the other's needs.
Couple B will become more aggressive. They may do things to hurt the other person. They may feel betrayed. They will fight back. They may continue this stage for the rest of their marriage, or they may divorce.
The weapon of choice is not always words and anger. This couple may use guilt, blame, and emotional abuse to control the other person.
Couple C enters into a passive aggressive state where they pretend that everything is okay. The anger is burried, the pain and suffering remains.
Moving On
The feelings experienced in the earlier relationship can be regained, but only by moving forward to unconditional acceptance and committment. Let go of your demands and accept the other person as they are. After all, they were your soul mate, the one and only, the true love of your life.
It’s a normal growth phaze to fall out of romantic and passionate love and to endure conflict. Conflict and growth are healthy parts of a relationship. Without conflict, we do not grow as people. Seeing the world through another person's eyes, their Point Of View, helps us see our own faults, grow as a person, and builds understanding.
Quitting
Many people decide they made a mistake and divorce. The important thing to remember is that your next 'soul mate' will be just like this person. You will find the same type of person to be your soul mate. There will be the same falling out. The same conflict.
Quitting in a relationship should only be considered a 'good thing' if the other person becomes abusive, or feel they have the right to punish people who don't give them their own way.
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