Codependent Relationships

Most of us whove survived a first marriage become familiar with the term sooner or later. Some of us make sure we don't repeat the pattern. Others leave one bad relationship and land in another.

The problem stems from society's believe that people should get together because of passion and lust, not friendship and trust. This makes women vulnerable to predators. Our upbringing make us more suseptable.

Remember the 'love at first sight?' A classic 'red flag' for a codependent preditor.

Remember the romance stories where a couple's eyes meet across a room? Or, worse yet, the man who showed no affection but the woman fawned over him because he was 'so' strong and dominant.

More on codependency

Women become trapped because the man really does love them, in a perverted way. In truth, he needs them to fulfill his abusive/controlling ideals of a relationship. The woman sees this as love. This traps her. She sees her strong man as having a weakness that he can't control. He appears to be remorseful that he hurts her. She doesn't know how to handle the situation.

I've seen women become pregnant thinking this will make him happy. Instead it gives him more control over her.

In classic cases he always moves them into rural areas where they are isolated, cannot escape, cannot get help.

I've even talked with women where were planning plastic surgery to please their codependent men.

What are the symptoms?

• controlling behavior patterns
• distrust and blaming the person for lying and sneaking around
• perfectionism as in the dominant person is perfect and the submissive person is incompetent and totally unable to do anything right
• avoidance of feelings - all affection is one way.
• intimacy problems - may even include vaginal ejaculation disorder
• caretaking behavior, possessive, controls the money, controls daily routines, controls friends, controls leaving the house
• hypervigilance (a heightened awareness for potential threat/danger)
• physical illness related to stress
• chemical dependancy
• unexplained illness
• feeling sick to your stomach when it is time for the dominant person to arrive home.

How to Tell if you are in a codependent relationship:

• Don’t rock the boat. It’s not okay to talk about problems. The family pretends things do not happen. We don't talk about the past, even if the past was the day before, the person who talks betrays the family and ruins things.
• Feelings should not be expressed openly; keep feelings to yourself, the dominant person doesn't great the family. They walk in the home environment and then check to make sure everything has been done right - or they totally ignore the family.
• Communication is indirect; one person acts as messenger between two others, known in therapy as triangulation; One person makes all the rules; One person makes decisions like when it is time to get pregnant, when it is time to move, if the other person can take courses, join a group, etc.,
• Do as I say not as I do. Submissive people strong, good, right, perfect - The dominant breaks all the rules but acts like everyone else is too stupid to know what they are doing
• Make us proud beyond realistic expectations
• Don’t be selfish
• Sexual satisfaction is focused on the dominant. The submsissive must enjoy it and act pleased, despite their physical reaction. This can lead to further dysfunctions.
• It’s not okay to play or be playful. If someone tries to be happy or play, the dominant might play too, but only to show the rest of the family that play leads to being hurt or punished.
  
• More signs of codependancy

Consequences of Over Sleeping

A Canadian study, published today in the medical journal Sleep, tested 276 adults between 21 and 64 years of age. They tested short and long duration sleepers. They found that 35 per cent and 25 per cent are more likely to gain 5kg (11lb) compared with average duration sleepers who maintained 7 hours sleep.

Short sleepers gained 1.98kg (4.3lb) while long sleepers gained 1.58kg (3.4lb).

The risk of developing obesity increases more than 27 percent for over sleepers.

Previous research suggested that sleep loss could disturb the production of hormones that control the desire for calorie rich foods. The level of ghrelin, the hormone released by the stomach to signal hunger, was 15 per cent higher in people who sleep five hours compared to those getting eight hours.

Lack of sleep leads to tiredness during the day, which reduces the level of physical activity.

The alarming statistics are for those who lack sleep. People who sleep five or fewer face a 70 per cent risk of dying from all causes - and twice the risk of death from a cardiovascular disease.

Professor Jim Horne, director of the Sleep Research Centre at Loughborough University, said those whose sleeping habits exceed seven hours, or who regularly get less, should not despair. They are not at risk.

"There is a great deal of evidence now that sleeping less than five hours a night is linked with putting on weight," he said, "but it's a very slow weight gain over a number of years."

So, enjoy a full night’s sleep.

Over Sleeping Can Cause Weight Gain

A Canadian study, published today in the medical journal Sleep, tested 276 adults between 21 and 64 years of age. They tested short and long duration sleepers. They found that 35 per cent and 25 per cent are more likely to gain 5kg (11lb) compared with average duration sleepers who maintained 7 hours sleep.

Short sleepers gained 1.98kg (4.3lb) while long sleepers gained 1.58kg (3.4lb).

The risk of developing obesity increases more than 27 percent for over sleepers.

Previous research suggested that sleep loss could disturb the production of hormones that control the desire for calorie rich foods. The level of ghrelin, the hormone released by the stomach to signal hunger, was 15 per cent higher in people who sleep five hours compared to those getting eight hours.

Lack of sleep leads to tiredness during the day, which reduces the level of physical activity.

The alarming statistics are for those who lack sleep. People who sleep five or fewer face a 70 per cent risk of dying from all causes - and twice the risk of death from a cardiovascular disease.

Professor Jim Horne, director of the Sleep Research Centre at Loughborough University, said those whose sleeping habits exceed seven hours, or who regularly get less, should not despair. They are not at risk.

"There is a great deal of evidence now that sleeping less than five hours a night is linked with putting on weight," he said, "but it's a very slow weight gain over a number of years."

So, enjoy a full night’s sleep.

Should You Ignore Symptoms?

The body has one method of telling us that something is wrong – it creates symptoms. In many cases, we take medicines that stop our bodies from giving us the message that something is wrong, or cleaning out the offending virus or toxin.

A runny nose, itching skin, sensitivity, weak nails can all signal toxins and a digestive symptom breakdown that can lead to disease.

Weight gain, acne and thinning hair, which are all common symptoms of Glucose allergies. Women may suffer from lack of libido, a deep voice, low mood - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome PCOS which can be controlled by reducing Glucose in our food.
Chewing ice, or a craving for ice, may signal the need for calcium.
Binging may signal the onset of Type 2 Diabetes.

The point is, you should pay attention to things that change in your body and health. They could be symptoms that something is wrong with your system. Pay attention. Don’t listen to people who say ‘don’t worry.’ Instead, research the symptoms and try to find what is the problem.

Natural Face Mask

Why not make your own?

You will need:

½ cup hot water but not poiling

1/3 cup quick oatmeal or instant

2 tablespoons plain yogurt

2 tablespoons honey

1 egg white

Mix water and oatmeal and then put aside to thicken into a paste. Mix the other ingredients in an electric mixer.

Add oatmeal paste and mix until blended and smooth.

Leave on for 15 - 20 minutes. Do not wait until mask hardens.

This mixture can be stored in the refridgerator for one week. This mask is an excellent exfoliator, but is gentler than comercial masks.

What is Soap?

How Does Soap Work
Soap helps remove dead skin. Believe it or not, the skin is the body's largest organ, responsible for removing toxins and waste from the body.

Soap is made to remove the dead skin from the top layer of skin - the epidermis - and the microbes that eat them. Soap should be used with a brush to help perform this task.

A toner will close the pores and prevent them from being clogged with dead skin and pollutants in the air.

A good soap will do both. The soap does not need to lather to do this. There are different types of soap. A good soap is made from oils and fatty acid. The oils are mixed with alkali to form glycerin and the salt of the fatty acid.

The surfactants (surface-active agents) in soaps remove grease and dirt because Surfactants have a molecular structure that acts as a link between water and the dirt particles. So the soap actually works like a magnet, or glue, that picks up the dirt and adheres it to the water which then drains away.

A good soap may contain a toner or astringent to tighten the pores, but adding moisturizers, perfume, colors, and scents may actually work against the process by being deposited on the skin and clogging the newly cleaned pores.

Soaps work because of the structure of water. Water molecules contain 2 hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom trapped between them. This makes the water molecule polar with a positive charge at one end and a negative at the other.

Ad an ionic compound like sodium chloride and the positive and negative parts of water are attracted to the positive ions and negative ions. This is what makes soap water soluble. The solubility of the soap depends on the strength of the attraction.
In this way, the fat in our skin, and on our skin are water soluble, making it easy for them to wash away. The epidermis needs a non-polar material that can be dissolved, moved, and then restored to its non-polar state, like a lipid, or triglyceride.

A lipid is made from two parts fatty acid, and an alcohol called glycerine. Both the fat and glycerine are water soluble.

Saturated fats are solid at room temperature, like l lard and butter. Unsaturated fats are liquids at room temperature like safflower oil. While the unsaturated fat is healthier, liquid soap is not easy to handle.

Cleansing and astringent herbs may be added to the mix, to improve the scent and cleansing ability of the soap. When the soap dissolves, dirt and pollutants are trapped, and sloughed away with the water.

The question is "Does a healthy organ (like skin) look healhier than a damanged organ?" The answer is yes. Using a good soap should help keep your skin looking healthier, longer.

Medical Science Is Making Cancer Breakthroughs

It is amazing, how many new discoveries are found for today's diseases. I write a lot about prevention, but cures give hope. They are our future, the secret to long life, and a better life style.

A new test analyzes some mysterious cancers and may provide a short-cut for treating them. Israel-based Rosetta Genomics (ROSG.O: Quote, Profile, Research) said its test, uses microRNAs, a genetic material that regulates genes that are involved in cancer.

Most cancers are named for the place they first develop:breast, lung cancer, or colon cancer. Even if they cancers spread, they are still identified by their primary origin.

"But there is a group of patients who have tumors that appear in a metastatic site which, with the best imaging, you can't find a primary tumor," said Dr. Martin Raber of the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston.

"It either acquired the ability to metastasize so early in development that primary didn't develop. Or the primary never existed," added Raber, who specializes in such cancers and who was not involved in the research.

Identifying the primary origin is the key to treating cancer , said Raber.

"Today we have specific chemotherapies. We have therapies for colon cancer that don't seem to work in other settings," Raber said in a telephone interview. "You can no longer design one regimen that captures all tumors."

"This research demonstrates the tremendous potential of microRNAs as effective biomarkers, and is a significant step towards the development of the first microRNA-based diagnostic tests," said Amir Avniel, president of Rosetta Genomics.

Raber, said eventually such tests will become more refined.

"At the end of the day as a doctor I don't really care if my unknown primary tumor patient had breast cancer, colon cancer or lung cancer," he said.

"All I really care about is what treatment will my patient respond to. Some day we will have gene panels that predict responsiveness to taxanes or ... Erbitux or responsiveness to Avastin," he added. REUTERS

Colon Cleansing the Natural & Holistic Way

This is a cross post from my blog www.healthafter40.blogspot.com This health blog is my most active, and ranks high among the blogging sites. I will be posting a daily journal there of my colon cleansing. I will not be posting the journal here - but in www.healthafter40.blogspot.com so you must go there to comment or follow my progress.


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My husband and I plan to start a colon cleansing program on April one. I will use natural foods and am aiming at 'cleaning out' the dangerous mucus build ups, not just restore my body's ability to create stools.

Feel Free to subscribe to follow this program. I am not going to become 'gross' or descriptive about my program, but I will tell you what I eat, the results, and how I feel.

I plan to do a full 7 day cleansing. At the end, you will have a basic understanding of the colon cleansing process. I will be posting articles within the next week to explain what I plan to do, and why.

The program will actually start a couple days early when I 'prepare' my body. Colon cleansing requires 'shocking' the body - but not making it ill.


USA Today, "Most people who eat the standard American 'goo and glue' diet have about 5-10 pounds of matter stored in the colon."

I will include fennel seed, flax seed, Psyllium but not senna. I will increase the fruits I eat, including (and most important) increasing the orange juice and adding rhubarb to my diet.

A Car Accident Down the Road

I'm starting to notice the effects of being stuck in the house all winter. I had a rude awakening this morning. I woke to the news report of a three car accident in my town. I guess this isn't news for many of my readers, but in a small town of less than 300, where horse and buggy out numbers cars, it is quite a shock.

The main road is closed - one car is still on fire at this moment. Emergency vehicles are racing back and forth. The radio ominously announced that there is at least one fatality.

Sometimes I just forget that life is precious. In our hectic daily routines we rarely stop to remember this. Life seems to be an indefinite, even at our age, then something happens to wake us up to the fact that we need to slow down and enjoy every day.

Sabotaging Happiness

I recently read an article at a favorite website. The article was called 7 Signs That You're Living in Denial.

I'm Never at Fault: Others are always at fault, aren't they? You keep doing everything right and they just ruin things for you, do they? Sorry to have to say this, but not assuming responsibility is one of the most obvious signs that you are living in denial.


Everything Has an Excuse: "I'm not going to do this because..." "I would have done that, if not for..." Do you somehow manage to find excuses for everything? Good for you, maybe you will find someone who pays you for that, but for the time being, your attitude is yet another sign that you are simply living in a fantasy world.

Everyone Else is Wrong: Are all of the people who don't agree with you clueless? Are they that ignorant, can't they understand your brilliance? I'm sorry but, if that's the way you see things, I am afraid that the problem lies elsewhere. One tip: it's not with everyone else.

It's All One Big Conspiracy I Tell You: Does it seem that everyone and their dog is working against you? Are you just a poor innocent victim in what seems to be one huge conspiracy against you? In that case, have you considered getting some help? No, everyone is not conspiring against you, and it's about time you stopped living in denial and started seeing how things actually stand. You can read the rest of the denial problems by clicking here.

This problem is also called 'ego personality disorder' and it ruins lives. The good news is that it can be managed and overcome. Many people with this disorder see it as their protection. Their self esteem is so low that they must overcompensate to protect themselves. But, step one to freedom is learning that you are the same person whether you live in a fantasy world or the real world. Loosing the EPD will only bring good things for you - like friends.


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